tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.comments2023-05-02T05:08:20.747-04:00JD ParadiseJD Paradisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945134213244873038noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-83018348325540770982015-02-01T16:42:14.663-05:002015-02-01T16:42:14.663-05:00Thanks, George!Thanks, George!JD Paradisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07945134213244873038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-28704746452970975522015-01-31T13:17:31.085-05:002015-01-31T13:17:31.085-05:00Loved it!!! Would read more!!!Loved it!!! Would read more!!!Tez205https://www.blogger.com/profile/13875699366748011882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-68714771565395990172014-03-31T13:54:45.856-04:002014-03-31T13:54:45.856-04:00What a great a story, it invokes the feeling of t...What a great a story, it invokes the feeling of those really old mythical gods in Greek/roman stories. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15955157867269361223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-52724953523564513762013-11-08T01:57:13.722-05:002013-11-08T01:57:13.722-05:00His fingers played with the small rosary beads in ...His fingers played with the small rosary beads in his pocket. He did not pray the rosary, nor was he Catholic. But he kept the strand of fake pink pearl all the same. He liked to count the beads, it wasn’t an even number, fifty-nine, but the number sat well with him, made him feel solid. <br />It could be hard to feel solid in this room, but surrounded as he was by many people in their twentieth Amy Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03177528984549810273noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-71167792080898789742013-10-31T17:59:03.982-04:002013-10-31T17:59:03.982-04:00“I know, I know, it sounds like a good deal on pap...“I know, I know, it sounds like a good deal on paper. Job security for life? Three square meals? Room and board? Plus, you've got your boss, your parent, and your creator god rolled up into one. Think of the time we save on existential dread alone.” Dust giggled, but she kept her gaze on the radar screen. “Hey, you listening?”<br /><br />The reporter edged towards the radio. “Just taking Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-31394743822668974482013-08-03T00:56:00.257-04:002013-08-03T00:56:00.257-04:00Thanks!Thanks!JD Paradisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07945134213244873038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-56392116395504859072013-08-02T22:24:38.854-04:002013-08-02T22:24:38.854-04:00This was really, really, truly awesome. Loved it. ...This was really, really, truly awesome. Loved it. :DAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05781246325272584428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-23573183008804492092013-08-01T14:44:15.284-04:002013-08-01T14:44:15.284-04:00Wow. I mean, yeah, that's messed up. But in an...Wow. I mean, yeah, that's messed up. But in an awesome way. Well done!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-54394470719418089672012-11-14T09:47:11.942-05:002012-11-14T09:47:11.942-05:00I liked this. It was well written and entertaining...I liked this. It was well written and entertaining.<br /><br />The turns in the plot were fairly predictable, which is not inherently bad, but if you wanted them to be a surprise...<br /><br />I agree with you about the politics. If it's a political satire, then exactly what/who it's satiring with what aspect is lost on me. As an allegory it works better.<br /><br />I don't claim to Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-53390287882324589602012-11-08T17:21:41.583-05:002012-11-08T17:21:41.583-05:00Thanks!
It's actually modeled off of a Honeym...Thanks!<br /><br />It's actually modeled off of a Honeymooner's episode - I haven't seen the HMs in years, but I thought it'd make an interesting frame.<br /><br />It needs to be a full-length, I agree. JD Paradisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07945134213244873038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-9789966625970135992012-11-07T12:27:09.664-05:002012-11-07T12:27:09.664-05:00Not bad. The flash fiction format is a bit too res...Not bad. The flash fiction format is a bit too restrictive for this story idea, in my opinion. Some parts of it feel a bit abrupt or sketchy. I think it would make a good full length short story.<br /><br />I thought your idea for the MacGuffin was excellent. Not your normal magic item.<br /><br />I also thought the "adventurer" as a hard luck husband trying to get by was nicely done.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-18144892515961561222012-10-18T11:18:35.788-04:002012-10-18T11:18:35.788-04:00Thanks!Thanks!JD Paradisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07945134213244873038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-91097562474603238342012-10-18T11:08:02.097-04:002012-10-18T11:08:02.097-04:00Thank you! And your short is very creepy, I like i...Thank you! And your short is very creepy, I like it lots. @TevynTevynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13341064108003968949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-38420462529806853552012-10-13T19:23:59.099-04:002012-10-13T19:23:59.099-04:00Wow, thank you!
I have no background with Russian...Wow, thank you!<br /><br />I have no background with Russian, alas. "Shcherbakov" is apparently a common spelling (felt weird to me too) - it's the former name of Rybinsk, and Wiki has a number of individuals with the surname spelled this way.<br /><br />But of course, the invalidity of the "it's real so it must be good!" argument can probably be applied to names as JD Paradisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07945134213244873038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-26719838422109779702012-10-13T12:32:49.445-04:002012-10-13T12:32:49.445-04:00This is fantastic flash fiction. An engaging story...This is fantastic flash fiction. An engaging story that unfolds in a beautiful way that wasn't hard to follow. My only complaint is the last name "Shcherbakov". I don't know what your background is with Russian and most of it worked well but the spelling/pronunciation of this particular name was weirdly jarring. Otherwise great job! Sylverboundhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08695602732143963887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-87179671521323073722012-09-29T12:41:54.477-04:002012-09-29T12:41:54.477-04:00Thanks, Raphaelite! Who knows. If I ever figure ou...Thanks, Raphaelite! Who knows. If I ever figure out a larger story to tell here, I'd love to do so. Flash is really good for creating little worlds you might want to explore later...JD Paradisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07945134213244873038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-45959550187194791002012-09-29T10:33:53.297-04:002012-09-29T10:33:53.297-04:00I agree with Jo; the story does feel like it is a ...I agree with Jo; the story does feel like it is a part of something bigger. I really like how you included the prompt sentence as an integral part of the story and added the dynamic between the two characters. The only thing is at the end, where he realizes she has really important exams, but then it seems like he just dismisses it by asking if she has a boyfriend and after that, the focus Raywenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16725549462470571437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-71431209406781648842012-09-28T06:11:49.598-04:002012-09-28T06:11:49.598-04:00Thanks, Jo! It does feel like part of something bi...Thanks, Jo! It does feel like part of something bigger, doesn't it? Hrm. Maybe there's more one day...JD Paradisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07945134213244873038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-2325235332458155302012-09-28T04:26:25.275-04:002012-09-28T04:26:25.275-04:00Great story. It feels like a piece from something ...Great story. It feels like a piece from something bigger, and I find myself wanting to know much more about this magical rhythm and the potentially fatal exam.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-66279420865264340162012-09-18T13:07:28.390-04:002012-09-18T13:07:28.390-04:00Thanks, James! Good thoughts there. If it gets to ...Thanks, James! Good thoughts there. If it gets to a draft 2, they're going into the blender :)JD Paradisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07945134213244873038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-33085718881723312562012-09-18T13:04:27.766-04:002012-09-18T13:04:27.766-04:00I think that the story is very captivating actuall...I think that the story is very captivating actually and makes a sort of sense, but I'll admit I didn't find the point that you intended in there; it all seems mutually destructive, but not futile. It's perfectly possible to read this as a self-punishment as much as a punishment for the fixer.<br /><br />I think that in order to get that sense of a grim downward spiral you need to giveAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06621278152886640576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-28837436003239874802012-09-17T06:47:01.189-04:002012-09-17T06:47:01.189-04:00Thanks, Angie!
If you found it difficult understa...Thanks, Angie!<br /><br />If you found it difficult understanding what was happening then, unusual words aside, I failed for you. Sorry for that!JD Paradisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07945134213244873038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-56238093724821793092012-09-17T02:06:40.797-04:002012-09-17T02:06:40.797-04:00The world building is fantastic and you use of unu...The world building is fantastic and you use of unusual words shows your savvy. I found difficult understanding what was happening until the last few paragraphs. I didn't understand why nouveau riche was so important and why being offended by land poor aristocrats could be important either. <br /><br />The html tags on the italics were visible the text. This bothered me. It would be easy angie Brooksby-Arcangiolihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08000615140577512304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-70718240962072318732012-09-15T07:43:58.103-04:002012-09-15T07:43:58.103-04:00Thanks, Gary!
I tend to think this one's comp...Thanks, Gary!<br /><br />I tend to think this one's complete; the point being what the point is (even if I did it poorly, which based on feedback I may have since no one got it :) ), it has to end in that room. In another version, I could write it to end with his choosing to leave the room and the revenge, but that would be a different theme - from "revenge traps you" to "to JD Paradisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07945134213244873038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750341687975932111.post-76170107503318782992012-09-15T07:40:19.177-04:002012-09-15T07:40:19.177-04:00Thanks, Rhyll. This was meant to be kind of a circ...Thanks, Rhyll. This was meant to be kind of a circular story - he's keeping Drudge alive to suffer, and since he's made himself the man's jailor, he's kind of locked into the same sort of loop that Drudge is. The point being that revenge locks you into things as much as it does the person you're taking your revenge upon.<br /><br />Which isn't to say your thoughts are JD Paradisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07945134213244873038noreply@blogger.com